When people ask a little bit about my story and my life this is usually how it goes…I say quick but it’s really not.
Well, my mom who was divorced with two boys, met my dad at a funeral. The funeral was for a friend of my dads, and it was my mom’s ex-boyfriend who died of brain and skin cancer. According to my grandma, my mom basically stalked my dad. He gave in apparently because Halloween 1990 this chick was conceived (thanks for that great information, dad). April 21st(??) my parents had a shotgun wedding, due to my mother’s parents being Irish Roman Catholic. July 28th, 1991, their worlds changed, welcoming myself to this world. My first memory is of myself looking into my parent’s room as they were just completely screaming at one another. One of my brothers saw me, grabbed my hand, put a jacket on me and said let’s take Bandit for a walk. I was probably three years old.
September of 1994, my mom filed for divorce. May of 1995, I was officially part of the broken family club. Dad’s Monday and Tuesday, Mom’s Wednesday and Thursday, switched off every other weekend.
From there it’s many stories that will be posted separately. Basically…it was a fucking mess. I’m just going to fast forward to after high school.
When I was 18 years old it was 2009, the recession began. My dad had already been fighting for the foreclosure for a few years actually. But November 2009 the home I grew up in, the home friends came to for a safe place…it was all gone. We then moved to a lower duplex, still in Wauwatosa, a year later…evicted. Then to Musekgo we went, a year later…evicted again. This time my dad didn’t have another plan or any money, I was 19, wanting to enjoy life more than working.
We were officially homeless. I was dating someone for four months and had nowhere really to go but then to go stay with him and his family. They live an hour north of everything I knew, my friends, my family, my life. My dad stayed with friends in this time. Me and that boyfriend (whom we will just call “J” as he will come up a lot), got our own place together.
Fast forward again, 25 years old, was in the relationship with J for five and a half years. November 2014 J and I were engaged. 100 days before the wedding, May 14th, 2016, I was free. I was planning for six months how to get out, I finally allowed myself to see what everyone else did in him, how controlling he was and really that he is a classic narcissist.
August 2016, I bought a condo! July 2017, I leased my first vehicle! My childhood friend since I was three moved in with me August 2017.
It is now September 2017 and I have had a year and a half of a dating shit show, I have learned a lot about myself and other people in today’s world. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, which I think will never end. The healing of well…my life…after writing all of this I’ve even more so realized how many wounds, scars, and baggage I have.
*Originally posted on Tumblr